The Neurotypical Mom Chronicles

2011-12-30T23:58:00.001-05:00

We're still here...

2011-12-22T22:51:00.001-05:00

We're just under pressure.

It's IEP Eve..

2011-11-16T17:22:00.001-05:00

Commence self-doubt, headaches, stress, and overwhelming desire to consume alcohol and then stick my head into the sand.

Here ye, here ye, kids with autism can have...advantages????

2011-11-02T19:53:00.004-04:00

I know what you're thinking. Well, maybe not because I'm not Sookie Stackhouse, but, if you're like me, you're tired of hearing people talk about curing autism. I am just not on board that ship. I wanted to gouge out my ear drums with a blunt pencil in the OT waiting room yesterday listening to all the DAN! moms and biomed moms talk about stuff that makes no sense to me. I've always been a

Decorating Fail

2011-11-01T20:37:00.001-04:00

The Boy reminded me this afternoon that I failed at removing our Hallowen decorations in a timely manner. For those keeping track, Halloween was just yesterday. These are the things that keep him up at night.

On the way to dance class...

2011-10-26T17:47:00.001-04:00

The Girl proclaimed... ...I am six, I go to dance class... ...when I am 10, I will play soccer... ...when I am 14, I will take guitar lessons... ...when I am 26, I won't have a job. But I will go to college. I will, mom, I promise... She might be more right than she knows...

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

2011-10-11T20:12:00.003-04:00

Or, in my case: The Boy is from Mars, The Girl is from Venus.The Boy is sitting here, next to me writing out a detailed Christmas Wish List. I'm sure if it was available, his list would include SKUs, ISBNs, and the names of the employees who work at the factory assembly line. He is that detailed. Did you know that Christmas is only 75 days away??? Gotta get ready, right? Meanwhile, The Girl,

For your reading pleasure...

2011-09-26T19:23:00.002-04:00

Saturday Morning StoryStory and Illustrations byThe GirlChapter 1Hello. My name is Van Gogh. I am an alien. One day I went to earth. It was very pretty. The sky was a rainbow. There were pretty Dazos. Dazos are a flower in a box. It's in the box to keep itself safe. Rain was coming from the clouds every day.I was looking for my friends. They were princesses at home. Their home was a

Paging Tara....

2011-09-13T20:43:00.001-04:00

Winner of my blog contest...please contact me so we can hook you up with your book! Email info is right there on the left.

When will I ever learn...

2011-09-12T16:51:00.004-04:00

...to keep my big mouth shut? The answer to that is never, since here I am about to blog about it.You know what annoys me? People who assume my family is perfect because I have a son and a daughter. You know what else annoys me? People who talk about autism and curing it and they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Sure they mean well, but how educated are they on the daily

And the winner is....

2011-09-12T15:43:00.001-04:00

The Wish List

2011-09-08T19:48:00.003-04:00

As I mentioned last week, I'm behind on blogging. I know you're shocked. It was also The Girl's 6th birthday. How the hell time went by so fast, I don't know.Anyway, we're not big fans of "stuff" here chez moi and we have books coming out the wazoo. I had no idea what to get her, nor could I answer the copious requests for ideas from family members who were also at a loss. Starting at the

Win a book! Free stuff rocks!

2011-09-07T11:16:00.019-04:00

Hi there lovely readers! Want to win a book? Of course you do! Here's your chance to win Seeing Ezra by Kerry Cohen. Contest details:Leave a comment on my post Seeing Ezra, Seeing Myself between now (right now, this very instant!) and 11:59 PM, EDT, 9/10/2011. You can only enter once by commenting. However, there are other ways to up your odds...keep reading!I will update this post with your name

Seeing Ezra, Seeing Myself

2011-09-04T08:27:00.009-04:00

A few weeks ago I was contacted via my blog by a publicist for Seal Press. She wanted to know if I was interested in reading Seeing Ezra by Kerry Cohen, which is a book about a mom and her son with autism. I was hesitant at first. Is this legit? Why me? No one except Rainbowmummy has ever really contacted me via my blog email address. I've gotten a few other random emails and a request for

So much to blog about...

2011-09-02T15:51:00.003-04:00

I am so behind on blogging... Remind to me to blog about: The Boy's guitar lessonsThe Girl's birthday wish listReading Seeing Ezra by Kerry CohenHow to decide to get your child evaluatedThe crazy running event I'm doingI think that covers it...

The Girl's first day of school...and sixth birthday!

2011-09-01T09:09:00.001-04:00

She is soooo happy today!

Waiting...

2011-08-25T15:13:00.001-04:00

The Boy is walking home today. By himself. Hold me.

Another school year starts...

2011-08-24T08:50:00.001-04:00

As you can see, The Boy is thrilled with me to be taking his picture. I can't believe he's in fourth grade.

When Mom's away (for business)...

2011-08-22T19:28:00.005-04:00

The kids will: Pass the swim test (The Girl). Yes, The Girl. She's five. Wow!!!!! She just "tread water for two minutes and swam back and forth across the deep end. Duh, Mom!!!!"Dive, like for real (The Boy). Yep. "It was so easy! I can't believe I never did it before!!!"Eat steak (The Boy). Who is this kid????Sleep in (Both kids). I called to check in on them and The Husband informed

Camp Grandma

2011-08-10T19:53:00.001-04:00

The kiddos are at my inlaws this week. So far, so good. I see this becoming an annual thing...though The Husband and I aren't quite sure what to do with all this quiet in our super clean house!

Meet the next Matthew Bellamy

2011-07-27T18:00:00.001-04:00

I bought The Boy a used guitar today. He is stoked!!!!

Google+

2011-07-27T08:40:00.000-04:00

Hey readers! I'm on Google+ now. I know you're out there...I see you on my stat tracker...you just don't like to comment! Fine. Be that way. :) Look for me at ntmomchronicles at gmail dot com and follow me! Thanks!

To tell the truth

2011-07-26T20:30:00.003-04:00

I just love listening to The Boy try to work out the meanings behind idiomatic expressions. The kids were arguing in the back of the car as we were driving home from cello lessons."Did not.""Did so.""Did not.""Did so.""Nuh, uh, you're a liar liar pants on fire!""But, that's....ridiculous? Why would you say that? If your pants are on fire, you're going to be injured."I tried to explain it, but

Wish you were here

2011-07-22T18:31:00.003-04:00

The Boy and The Girl just received post cards from their cousins in Cape Cod. They are up there with my in-laws for vacation.This is what The Boy said upon reading the post card from S, his seven year old cousin:"She spelled from wrong. It's not F-R-U-M."[rolls eyes]He can't just be happy that he got mail. In fact, I'm quite sure he doesn't give a shit about this post card. It's hard for me to

What we've been doing!

2011-07-05T13:12:00.003-04:00

We've been rafting on the Upper Colorado River!We just got back from an exciting and awesome vacation to Colorado. The kids had a blast rafting. The Boy "rode the bull" which means he sat on the very front of the raft and The Girl squealed with delight when we hit the Class IIIs and complained when we were going "too slow".Colorado was fabulous and we can't wait to go back!

Go ahead, make my day...

2011-06-13T13:47:00.003-04:00

The Boy just called me from Miss C's phone to report that he made A & B Honor Roll for the last quarter of 3rd Grade. His grades had gradually increased after the addition of more services follow his last IEP meeting.I have no words to express the amount of pride and happiness welling up in my heart.I am so thrilled and excited for The Boy.Keep up the good work, son. You should be so proud of

On hiatus...

2011-06-01T17:33:00.002-04:00

I'm taking a break...it's time for fun in the sun, vacations, relaxing, and enjoying the great outdoors...and also I was recently diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and typing is killer.So...that's that. See you in a few weeks after I get this under control!

Can I brag for a minute?

2011-05-21T08:28:00.002-04:00

Ever since we implemented extra services for The Boy, his grades have gone up tremendously. His last interim was all As, one B, one C. He has the potential to make the A/B Honor Roll for the first time. He's thrilled. I'm thrilled. We're all super thrilled.He just gave me his graded papers for this week and his book report received an A+. A mother freakin' plus! He has a new sense of

Funnies from The Girl

2011-05-17T16:02:00.002-04:00

The Girl: I have cooties.Me: No you don't.The Girl: Yes mom. I really, really do.Me: What makes you think you have cooties?The Girl: I don't think I have cooties mom, I know I do.~~~The Girl: I don't want to swallow knives.Me: [playing along] Why not?The Girl: Because it will stab my heart. And that will not make my heart super happy.Yep. Just her heart, nothing else.~~~Last night, I

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T08:58:00.002-04:00

To all my readers who are mothers: I wish you a happy, peaceful day full of relaxation, good food, and a massage from a sexy pool boy named Pablo.If your reality is like mine, though, you probably had a conversation like this:The Boy: It's Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day, mom.Me: Aww, that's sweet. Are you going to make me breakfast?The Boy: Why would I do that?Gotta love an Aspie.

Mama knows best

2011-05-04T09:49:00.003-04:00

I am not looking forward to this afternoon.The Boy is scheduled for a field trip today. It's outside. It's raining. The facility they are going to does not have water fountains. Directions for the field trip indicated that it was advisable to pack an extra drink and to dress appropriately.I mentioned it was raining, correct?The Boy got dressed and we packed his lunch. I told him that since we are

Enjoying nature

2011-05-01T18:34:00.004-04:00

So. We went camping. It was a trial run and it was less than 18 hours. It went really well, except for The Girl's coughing in the middle of the night. A local nature center was hosting a Spring Camp-out, so we went. We showed up promptly at 7 pm on Saturday, pitched our tent, went for a night hike, had a campfire complete with s'mores, then hit the hay. Er, hard ground. Yes. Hard. Ground. Ouch.We

Just pick a seat, already!

2011-04-25T13:47:00.001-04:00

The other day we were at my Dad's house. Dad does pretty well with The Boy, but sometimes I think he forgets he's not "normal".My Dad: Hey...you going to the movies???At this point, I know what's coming. I remember this convo fondly (not!) when I was a tween picking a wedgie.Me: Dad, this is lost on him. He won't get it.My Dad: Hey! [name] you going to the movies???The Boy: I saw Rio the

Mama Bear FTW!

2011-04-24T15:25:00.003-04:00

Since starting third grade, The Boy's report card has been worrisome. For me, at least. After the first two quarters, I finally worked through my projection of self on him. And then he brought home his third report card of third grade.But before I tell you about it, let me brag a little bit about my mama bear skills. His teacher went on maternity leave in early March. There was a temporary

It's snot funny.

2011-04-18T17:30:00.001-04:00

The Girl has a cold. She sounds like a cross between Darth Vader and Snuffleupagus. The worst part is she is in denial about needing to blow her nose. And even if I convince her to do so, teaching her the proper technique is damn near impossible.Anyone got any tips on how to teach a five-year-old how to blow her own nose?

Exception to policy

2011-04-14T13:08:00.001-04:00

The Boy has very strict rules about when things can and cannot occur. If you're a regular reader, you already know this. For example, I had to stop calling his winter coat a winter coat. Because if it was cold on November 22, he would not wear it because "It's not winter, Mom. Duh." He owns a cold weather coat now. When he asks what time it is, I have to say 6:03, not 6, or close to 6, or

The V word

2011-04-13T07:04:00.000-04:00

Yes, my friends. Vagina is a new favorite word in my house.Good times. At least it is also stated quite frequently that they are special.

I can do it, can you?

2011-04-12T20:54:00.003-04:00

I just read Dewey Doo-it Feeds a Friend to my children. I love the message of this story and it was perfect timing too. For The Boy's birthday party, I insisted that his friends not bring gifts, but canned goods to donate to a local food pantry. This book helped reinforce that idea by telling a story of friends helping others in need.Because I was reading it to them, the kids (and especially

Let's talk about sex, baby...Take Three

2011-04-08T11:33:00.003-04:00

The Boy had a great birthday. Well, mostly, aside from his birthday dinner, but I'm still recovering from the PTSD of that, so we will speak of it no further. Anyway, he came into my room and the following conversation took place. The Boy: You gave birth to me. Me: Yes, I am your mother, I gave birth to you. The Boy: I came out of your vagina. Me: Yes, you sure did. [pensive look, wheels turning

En français, s'il vous plaît

2011-04-08T11:28:00.003-04:00

Parlez-vous français? Oui, je parle français. And now I do. Anytime The Boy starts talking 'at' me in potty words or otherwise annoying tone, or I dunno, says nothing but "Chicken" eleventy bajillion times, I reply to him only in French. It's driving him crazy and I love it. This will be awesome until he teaches himself French.

The Boy

2011-04-06T14:01:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday, big boy...you're 9 now!!!! I told him he could choose any restaurant he wanted for his birthday dinner. So naturally he chose McDonald's. Hold me.

The joke is on...me?

2011-04-01T16:52:00.001-04:00

Would someone please, pretty please, tell The Boy that farting on one's mother is not an April Fool's joke?Please. Now would be just fine. Yesterday would have been better.

Let's Talk About Sex...Baby....Encore une fois

2011-03-31T21:12:00.003-04:00

After much mulling and feet dragging, The Husband and I figured we should probably have the sex talk sooner rather than later.[insert sighs and groans here]Over the weekend, I read a book that my friend A suggested and I thought it would be appropriate. Don't mind the look on my face as I read it.I liked the book and may end up purchasing it as well, but in the end, I settled on Who Am I? Where

So easy...an 8 year old can do it!

2011-03-29T16:58:00.006-04:00

I'm a little bit militant about certain things. Like text speak. I hate it. The your/you're its/it's their/there/they're crap. Get it right. I also generally don't end sentences in prepositions, have dangling participles, etc. Of course, I'm speaking about when I'm writing professionally. Don't you dare go dig through my archives and judge me. :DAnyway, as The Boy and I were sitting here

Let's talk about sex, baby!

2011-03-17T19:13:00.004-04:00

Or let's not.lalalalalalalalalalalaI can't hear you.Oh, you're talking louder? lalalalalalalalalalalaI still can't hear you!!!!!!!Dammit. I'm going to have to have this conversation aren't I? It's not that I'm a prude. I'm not. And I certainly must not have been traumatized by the talk my mom had with me because I don't even remember it. Surely if it was horrifying it would have left some

Too smart for his own good

2011-03-08T08:57:00.000-05:00

Most boys The Boy's age enjoy video games. The Boy loves them too. He especially loves, and is exceptionally good at, Mario Kart. I get it. But, as with all things, too much of good, fun thing can be harmful.Each day he is allowed 30 minutes of electronics time. We bend these rules a bit on the weekend, but it's pretty strict on school nights. Often times, he'll be in the middle of a Grand

How Soon Is Now?

2011-03-07T19:36:00.004-05:00

Here's a fun little convo The Boy and I had on our way home from speech therapy today.The Boy: Where do animals come from?Me: I'm not sure I know what you mean...???The Boy: You know. Animals. How did they get here?Me: Animals reproduce like humans for the most part. Mommies lay eggs or give birth to babies. Like us.[meanwhile I am secretly willing this conversation to be over]The Boy:

I'm tired. And dizzy.

2011-03-02T19:54:00.003-05:00

Hello readers.I am tired. I have Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo. I was treated yesterday. It makes me feel wonky. I should be right as rain (hopefully) by Friday. For now, I leave you with this...something that I find so hilarious, I'm sharing it with everyone I know.Just another reason why I heart Tom Hanks.

It's not a competition

2011-02-22T16:02:00.002-05:00

We had an impromptu day off today. It snowed/slushed/sleeted and schools were closed. To my shock and awe, I got a Code Red at work today as well. Score! I made the kids cool shaped pancakes and bacon. Then I took them out to lunch to Wendy's (because we don't do Chick Fil A anymore, more on that in a separate post) and then we went ice-skating.A few things:We had fun!And The Boy had mad skating

Things I've been doing...

2011-02-09T10:37:00.004-05:00

besides not blogging.Convincing my management to let me go back to work part time. STATUS: Success! I start a 32 hour per week schedule next week. I will now be able to pick up The Boy after school everyday, allowing for more family time, more gym time, and hopefully less angry time.Raising money for The Overnight walk that I'm doing in New York in June. STATUS: Some success! I've raised

To Your Health

2011-02-04T21:07:00.004-05:00

I don't say "Bless You" after someone sneezes.I just don't.So tonight, after The Girl sneezed, I said, "Gesundheit".Me: Do you know what gesundheit means?The Girl: Huh?The Boy: It's German.Me: That's right. It's German. It means "health". So when you say it after one sneezes, it means you're wishing good health.The Girl: What's German?Me: It's a language. We speak English. People in

And then I needed a drink...

2011-01-28T18:31:00.004-05:00

On the way home from school, The Boy told me that some "friends" wanted him to play outside. I have two feelings about this. The first is that I'm stoked. Kids his age like him AND want him around. That makes me feel happy. And then there is fear. What if they just want to tease him? What if all he does is talk about Mario or quiz them on the geography of Africa (it's been known to happen,

2011-01-23T14:41:00.001-05:00

Last night, as I was trying to calm down The Boy after a run in with The Husand, The Girl popped up out of nowhere and said, "The Boy really fucking pissed Daddy off." Ooops.

2011-01-22T08:21:00.001-05:00

"Are your great-grandparents extinct?" asked The Boy. He asked this of my nephew C. "You know, like dinosaurs."

One of the funniest conversations yet!

2011-01-20T18:37:00.001-05:00

The Girl: Mom! You know what I like about Caillou?Me: No, hon, what do you like about Caillou?The Girl: NOTHING!!!!!!!!Then both The Boy and The Girl mocked his whiny ass.Bwahahahahaha.

Put your shoes on

2011-01-14T21:08:00.003-05:00

Me: Put your shoes on so we can go.[nothing happens]Me: Put your shoes on so we can go.[nothing happens]Me: Put your shoes on so we can go.[nothing happens]Me: Put your shoes on so we can go. [nothing happens]Me: Put your shoes on so we can go.The Girl: I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't.Me: Why not?The Girl: Because. Because. I miss Santa.

Anger Management

2011-01-05T13:55:00.003-05:00

It's always fun to blame the annoying traits you see in your children on the other parent. Until you have the shocking epiphany that the behavior that annoys you the most, is actually your own behavior.Yes, dear readers, I have anger issues. My depression presents as anger and is mostly controlled by meds. We started The Boy on a low dose of Zoloft to help with his anxiety and depression. After a

Happy New Year!

2011-01-02T19:55:00.002-05:00

Well, it's 2011 and I'm still managing to post about once every few weeks or so. I didn't make any resolutions this year, other than to compete and complete in my first sprint triathlon (Columbia Iron Girl in August).I hope the coming year brings my readers good health and happiness. Thanks for reading my blog!Check out our outing on 1/1/11. It was an unseasonable 60*, so we took advantage by

Proud moments in parenting, Aspiemom style

2010-12-28T19:23:00.003-05:00

What just transpired in my house will likely be Chapter 12 in The Boy's memoir of having a mean mom. The Boy has been a giant pain in the ass lately. More so than normal. I feel as though I can say he's a pain in the ass because I am too. I love him dearly and I even like him on most days. Lately though, I want to drop kick him. *Groan*He's been on my nerves all afternoon saying things like

From the bottom of my heart

2010-12-21T09:54:00.003-05:00

On Sunday we were at my niece's 11th birthday party (at a bowling alley). We had a blast, the kids had fun and the big kids (aka the adults) got a lane and bowled a game too.After pizza and cake, each kid got a cup of tokens to use at the arcade. The Boy won a prize with the claw machine and was quite impressed with himself. The Girl was having fun and couldn't be bothered to say goodbye to

What is: Things I don't want to hear my son say?

2010-12-20T18:08:00.002-05:00

Answer: I don't like going to school because no one likes me.And for Daily Double: I wish I was already in college so I didn't have to deal with a mother.My heart is broken twice over both of those statements. One is hurt for my son, the other for my own heart.

This gives me a headache. And makes me cry.

2010-12-17T12:52:00.004-05:00

Last week, The Husband and I attended The Boy's IEP meeting. For the most part it went well, and The Boy will be receiving some more services and accommodations, but I still can't help but feel a little bit like the mom in the video posted below. Added services include adding one hour (two 30-minute sessions) of one-on-one with Mrs. C., the special education teacher to work on reading

Running with scissors

2010-12-15T14:32:00.004-05:00

As I was driving into work this morning, The Girl and I were discussing random things. She noticed she had a snag in one of her mittens. She kept pulling at the thread until I finally told her to stop or she would unravel her entire mitten and then her hand would be cold.The Girl: Mom, I need some scissors. You need to cut this now.Me: When we get to school, I'll have Miss Angelita cut

Visiting Santa

2010-12-09T21:32:00.004-05:00

Remember when you were a kid and you'd be waiting in line to see Santa? And you were so excited you just couldn't contain yourself???The Girl will remember it...because I captured it tonight while we were waiting to see him.

Holiday Traditions

2010-12-06T07:06:00.000-05:00

Growing up, we were allowed to choose one present to open on Christmas Eve. I would spend the whole week up leading up to that night inspecting my gifts under the tree choosing just the right one. We also had Chinese take out.What are yours?

"Can't catch me...

2010-12-05T19:01:00.005-05:00

because I'm the Dangerbread man." ~ The GirlThe Girl made a gingerbread man at The Husband's parents' house this weekend.Doesn't he just look so murderous???

2010-11-22T18:22:00.001-05:00

I wish our cats would die so I can get a different pet ~ The Boy.!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-11-20T12:47:00.001-05:00

Is it weird that I only like to fold laundry when it's warm and fresh from the dryer? Discuss.

Oooh! I'm going high-tech

2010-11-19T08:58:00.000-05:00

I just signed up for mobile posting in an effort to increase the frequency of posts. We shall see!

Little Miss Popular

2010-11-18T20:31:00.003-05:00

The Girl is quite the social butterfly at school. When I drop her off in the morning, several of her friends from class always run up to her, hug her, or otherwise fight for her attention.Today when I picked her up from school, she was by herself and not playing with "guys". This is highly unusual. I asked how her day was and Miss B. told me that she recently returned from visiting room 18 (

Ten things you didn't know about...The Girl

2010-11-18T08:38:00.001-05:00

She can identify my backyard birds!She enjoys listening to Lady Gaga and Shakira.When she says Shakira, she rolls her 'r'.She eats raw spinach like it's going out of style.She is 47" tall and weighs 43 lbs. She is the taller than some of the 2nd graders at The Boy's school.She is not going to Kindy until Fall 2011.Her favorite book at the moment is Goldilcious.As soon as we get home from school,

The results are in...

2010-11-16T18:12:00.003-05:00

Report Cards came home today.Me: Well, you got two As, two Bs, three Cs and one D. No Es.The Boy: Well. I did get perfect attendance.Me: That's good, hon. School is hard.The Boy: Yeah, school is hard. Life is hard too.Don't I know it. His grades are not as bad as I expected. We still have work to do. I'm going to go have a drink now.

The Crazy Continues

2010-11-15T12:21:00.000-05:00

So I'm still doing Weight Watchers and I'm still totally stalled at a 15 lb loss. No complaints from me though, I've dropped two dress sizes and I feel great. I did the 18 mile walk for The Overnight in June. Awesome. Go me. So I needed a new challenge. I started doing Couch to 5K, in order to become a runner. Why? No clue. I've never been a fan of running, truth be told. While I've

Just ship it

2010-11-14T20:00:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago, Miss C. kept an eye on the kids so I could go get my hair cut. The Husband got stuck at work, so she covered us for about 30 minutes.The Boy: Do J and E want a Wii?Miss C.: Yes.The Boy: So, you can just go on your computer and get it. They just ship it. [whispers to The Girl: Ship it means Deliver it. Like to your house.] The Girl nodded in response.Miss C.: Yes, I know.

Martha Stewart doesn't live here...

2010-11-01T13:26:00.009-04:00

and it's a good thing. I can cook. I can bake. I am a decent organizer/housekeeper. But don't you dare ask me to be crafty. For serious. So when The Girl decided she was going to be Wendy O. Koopa for Halloween, I was at a loss. Who is Wendy O. Koopa, you ask? Why she's King Koopa's only daughter, of course. Duh, Mom.Um, how on earth does one make that costume??? I frantically put out a note on

Accentuate the Positive

2010-10-31T10:20:00.003-04:00

Well. I got some bad news on Thursday. Our beloved SLP, Miss A. is ditching us. That's right. She's packing up and leaving Maryland for Pueblo, Colorado. Fine. Be that way. Move on and leave us. I'm sad. She knows The Boy so very well. And she's fun to talk to and she likes to read my blog, though she never, ever comments on it (publicly).I think I did figure out the one good thing

Let's talk about children's programming

2010-10-16T09:33:00.004-04:00

I have always had a problem watching shows for kids that aren't realistic. Maybe it's because I lack imagination. Maybe it's because I'm too logical. Anyway, I have a hard time watching these shows without pointing out things that don't make sense.I can't stand shows that incorporate humans talking to animals. Either make it all human, with animals who don't talk, or, make it all animals

For all my Aspie readers...

2010-10-13T20:01:00.002-04:00

Tell me it will be okay. Tell me that you didn't get good grades in school. Tell me you had a hard time. Tell me it will all be fine.I am so tired of hearing that The Boy has an attention problem. So, so tired. Personally, I don't think that the problem is his attention. I think he doesn't give a shit. He is probably tired of going over the same topics time and time again. Believe me, I'm

So much to say...

2010-10-05T21:46:00.003-04:00

The Girl: Mommy, we should not say bad words.Me: We should always try to say words in a nice way.The Girl. Yeah. At school, I don't say bad words, I don't say stupid.Me: That's good.The Girl: And I don't say shut up. That's not nice.Me: Mmm hmm.The Girl: These are all not nice words. Stupid. Shut up. Fuck. You know. Not nice words.[gasping in horror]Me: Did you tell Miss Bianca not to

Let me tell you about the As and the Es...

2010-10-04T17:21:00.003-04:00

No, this is not a post about vowels.Last week, The Boy brought home the last two weeks' worth of school work. Half of it is A+ (100%) and the rest of it is D/E (<70%) with one or two C's thrown in for variety.I noticed on the bad papers, The Boy didn't write his name, skipped answers and drew pictures on the tests. There were a few answers on the multiple choice for social studies where I can

The Gator Navy

2010-09-24T11:15:00.002-04:00

The Boy selected some books about the Navy to read for his accelerated reader program. The first one was Navy Ships In Action. We read it together and all was going well. Until we got to the section about The Gator Navy.The book said something similar to this:The Gator Navy consists of ships that are amphibious. These ships can operate on land and sea, just like gators. Do you see the problem

How do you make yourself invisible?

2010-09-20T18:02:00.003-04:00

So as The Girl and I were driving to pick up The Boy, I was entertained by a variety of stories about mermaids talking under the sea, how she and Isa were going to go to Disney World, and other assorted hilarity.Then she said, "Mom, do you know how to be invisible?"Intrigued by what she would say, I enthusiastically replied, "No, tell me how and I'll try it!""You just take off all of your clothes

Third Grade Math

2010-09-16T19:15:00.002-04:00

I am skilled with math. I mean, I'm not a mathematician, but I do have decent skills.The Boy and I (and later The Husband) tried to figure out the math problem problem below. And we couldn't do it. Since when does third grade math pose a challenge for me??? Apparently now it does.Using four different digits, what is the least sum you can get when you add two two-digit numbers? Write your

Use it in a sentence

2010-09-16T18:44:00.003-04:00

The Boy: Mom, do you know what disagreeable is?Me: Yep.The Boy: It's when you're in a bad mood.Me: Yes, that's a pretty good definition. Can you use it in a sentence?The Boy: My mom is pretty disagreeable today.At least he's honest. It has been one of those days.

Don't you hate it...

2010-09-07T09:31:00.001-04:00

when people don't RSVP to your daughter's birthday party?And then when you email your friend to find out if she is coming to the party you learn that you sent her a blank invitation.Oops.

Super Mario Bros

2010-09-05T20:06:00.003-04:00

That's Bros. by the way. Not brothers. Bros. Ask me how many times I've been corrected since acquiring this game.Tonight I decided I was going to play the New Super Mario Bros. for Wii. What a clusterfuck that was. I thought *I* was a control freak. Nope. The Boy tops me hands down. For sure. He was telling me which way to jump, when to jump, which items to use and when. I did my own

Got Autism?

2010-09-02T21:28:00.004-04:00

Maybe I'm just sensitive. Or judgy. Or both. But when I walked into the waiting room at therapy today and saw B, a little boy pretty damn affected by autism, wearing a "Got Autism?" shirt, I was taken aback.Really???The ad campaign "Got Milk?" was designed to raise awareness about milk and its potential positive effects on one's health. I can see how "Got Autism?" is a radical and jaw

Ten things you didn't know about...my health

2010-09-02T09:40:00.005-04:00

Here are some things you probably don't know about my health (that I'm willing to share!)My resting heart rate is around 62.I get tested extensively for thyroid disease every year since thyroid problems run rampant in my family.I have low blood pressure. Like 100/50 low.I have a slight hearing loss in my right ear for high frequency sounds.I want to get laser hair removal. I'd prefer to do my

That was sooooo five years ago...

2010-09-02T09:20:00.001-04:00

The Girl's daycare/preschool just called. Each year, we have to pay $60 registration fee due by the first of September.Apparently when I dropped off the check yesterday, I dated it 1 Sep 2005. Ha! Guess The Girl's birthday was on my brain.

A whole hand

2010-09-01T08:47:00.006-04:00

The Girl is five today. She is very excited that she is now a whole hand. I can't believe it's been five years. She's five going on fifteen.

Breakfast conversation

2010-08-31T12:55:00.002-04:00

This morning as I was making my coffee, The Boy decided to start a conversation with me. Usually he sits there and grunts, ignores his breakfast and then chastises me for rushing him.The Boy: Mom. Are you fat or are you skinny?[me...floored by this random question]Me: Um. I don't know...what do you think I am???[slightly terrified at what his response might be]The Boy: You're skinny.Me: [

Two funny conversations; One horrifying one

2010-08-30T19:52:00.003-04:00

First with the funny. Because those make me happy.My inlaws were in town this weekend for The Girl's birthday. We all hit the pool on Saturday and The Boy gave Grandma and Grandpa the complete rundown of Mrs. Rock's behavior chart.The Boy: First, you get your card flipped. Then you're on Yellow. Then you're on Red. Then you get Purple. And if you're really, really bad, you're on Blue. And

A tale of a tail

2010-08-26T18:51:00.003-04:00

The Boy: Donkey Kong is a gorilla.Me: Yep, I believe he is.The Boy: Diddy Kong is his son. [more on this, I fact checked after this conversation took place]Me: I guess so, I don't really know. I can check later.The Boy: Hmm. Well.Me: What's the matter?The Boy: Well, Diddy Kong has a tail. And if Donkey Kong is a gorilla, well, then Diddy Kong must be a monkey, because he has a tail. I

Pulling Strings

2010-08-25T13:38:00.004-04:00

The Boy is loving third grade so far. Yesterday he came home and handed me a stack of papers to read through (my least favorite part about going back to school).Included in yesterday's stack of papers was a permission slip and associated information about Instrumental Music lessons. Third graders are eligible to be in the orchestra. And The Boy is dying to play the viola, just like The Husband

Running sucks

2010-08-24T13:17:00.000-04:00

The following post is going to be super rambly.This is the fictional character Sarah Connor from The Terminator (as portrayed by Linda Hamilton):While she is a bit more ripped than I would like to be, one thing she did in Terminator 2 was a chin up, something I have never, ever been able to do. One of my fitness goals is to be able to do a chin up as well as a pull up.Something else I'm working

Mrs. Rock rocks

2010-08-23T19:09:00.002-04:00

The Boy has Mrs. Rock for third grade. He is beyond pleased because she gives "hard work" so "his brain won't turn to mush".Today was the first day. I was fortunate enough to get this picture.Some new tricks we are trying this year include:*chores, including making his bed, helping with the cats and doing dishes*defined time line of when homework should be done, with more clear rules on bed

Get it?

2010-08-19T19:53:00.003-04:00

The Boy had a Popsicle for dessert this evening. It was the kind that has a joke on the stick."What did the money name his son?""Buck"The Boy shrugged and threw the stick away.Me: Do you get it?The Boy: Get what?Me: The joke. The Boy: That's not a joke.Me: It is. You can call money cash, bucks, moola, you know. The money named his son Buck. But it's also a name. Kind of like a play on

New (School) Year Resolution

2010-08-18T09:18:00.003-04:00

I will blog more.I will blog more.I will blog more.Summer kicked my ass. Between work and vacations and other assorted fun, I hardly had time to blog. Okay, that's not entirely true since I managed to waste countless hours on Facebook commenting on LOLCats and stupid youtube videos.The truth is, the last quarter of 2nd grade and most of this summer with The Boy was quite challenging. He's

Tree Frog in theToilet: A Story

2010-07-05T09:50:00.002-04:00

Last Thursday on the way to OT, The Boy said something peculiar.The Boy: "I didn't want to pee on the frog this morning."Me: "Um, huh???"The Boy: "The frog. In the toilet. I didn't pee on it. Daddy tried to flush it."At this point I'm thinking this is BS. We own no frogs, and there's no way the little outdoor toads managed to get in to our house AND our toilet.So I call The Husband toute

Oh, hi.

2010-06-03T20:27:00.003-04:00

Oh hi. I'm Aspiemom. And I sometimes write a blog about my trying and often hilarious encounters with my son who has Asperger's Syndrome.And I never ever get a chance to blog. I miss blogging. I hope to find some time for it again soon.The Boy was telling me about buffalo meat the other day. He told me I could eat it as a burger, as a steak, as a roast. Then he said, "And I'm not joking.